The minute you settle for less than you deserve, You get even less than you settled for
Very often we settle for less than what we are worth and feel it is contentment, detachment (for those who believe it’s a spiritual calling) or that this is all there is. This was the most important realization in my recent days. Here comes the act of “Self Discovery”
What are the signs that we have settled for less?
1. Being tired or exhausted always: no matter how challenging the relationship or the task, we feel tired and often feel less motivated to go along with it. When a person says repeatedly or makes someone feel that they are tired of talking about the same issue or act.
2. Chronic procrastinating: we all have bigger dreams and often keep putting it off for later because there seems to be so much on the plate already. There isn’t much on the plate actually but what is on the plate is exhausting and so we fear to take on more especially in the direction of our dreams or what we would really make us feel empowered.
3. Resenting success, jealousy, blame: when we have settled we find it hard to accept that others may be better than us and often find fault with what others have or have achieved. We resent the success of the others and blame it on luck or something equally non-existent. We blame our circumstances or the people in our lives instead of taking up the responsibility to change or make a difference. What is worse is that we begin to make excuses and philosophical statements to keep us in a miserable state.
4. We think a lot and do very little: plans always seem grand. Action is almost non-existent.
5. Believe we cannot make it: chronic states lead to a belief that we cannot make it and often we begin to underplay our skills, under charge or undersell our skills and end up trusting the wrong people to support us in our growth. This is the time we attract opportunists who begin to use us for their personal gain. Sometimes we are not even aware of what big we keep losing for tiny stupid things, which in no way adds value to your life 🙂
We tend to settle for several reasons :
1. Self-worth and self-esteem: when we value ourselves less than what or who we truly are. We tend to settle. When we argue for our limitations they become true and we settle for less.
2. Once we settle we allow our self-limiting beliefs to push us into a safe space or comfort zone when everything is within reach and it’s a beautiful illusion. This is when online shopping and hoarding, addiction to gadgets and TV, messy living spaces and stupid online articles about how messy or disorganized people with poor habits for self-efficacy are upheld as being more intelligent or successful make sense.
3. Fear and anxiety: our fears get the better of us. We give in to our fears instead of facing them and raising the bar or the benchmark. Fear of failure kills more than failure itself. This is one of the biggest reasons for settling.
Directions for change :
1. We become what we think about. So a conscious change in thoughts and about what we can achieve is the first step. 👍👍👍
2. Cut out people 🙅and habits that bring us down and encourage us to settle.
3. When you face the light the shadow can only fall behind you. Face your fears 😨and rewrite the limiting beliefs.
4. Trust your gut. Sometimes a person or opportunity is OK for a while but after a while, if you feel like you are not valued, being used, or taken for a ride cut off and set the boundaries. Taking away toxic influences is a huge step forward.
5. Stop addictive patterns if watching TV, gadget addiction, buying online, binge eating, hiding behind nonsense online quizzes that justify behavior. Never let something else take the place, time or resources meant for you. Invest in yourself if you really want to embrace the true potential you were born with.
